tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50031524705949022172024-03-12T20:45:41.229-07:00Funny JokesMEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-49205767133177014932011-11-07T01:09:00.000-08:002011-11-07T01:09:20.549-08:00Funny LG Logo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_mI_9SE8qfeSFzYNeCue5dff8VjWdweBk5UEncyB1f35daj2zVI979udcNL4pVH-bIekTC27884ap0zDEpqHmKhy0Z37EHJpKxFo4pBjt5uj4xQ2drZe5BXZKdjA-5BL18O-pNjVRpICa/s1600/funny_LG_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_mI_9SE8qfeSFzYNeCue5dff8VjWdweBk5UEncyB1f35daj2zVI979udcNL4pVH-bIekTC27884ap0zDEpqHmKhy0Z37EHJpKxFo4pBjt5uj4xQ2drZe5BXZKdjA-5BL18O-pNjVRpICa/s400/funny_LG_logo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Funny LG Logo</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-91340501913293489792011-11-07T00:47:00.000-08:002011-11-07T00:47:13.782-08:00Funny Play Boy Logo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrz9b_SPiUi_cmPJMqdc5H6iorLtT5qkPMbW8yNpvVQpyZSCqMwfZu5KDlevFv0H-4jP6wZhbtGvScwE6OD_BuqhTIzGyyJNOn4EVPzN5aSnYDRQIOO7ztg7bLVQTl1XMh6AOh46XrY2rh/s1600/Funny_Play+_Boy_Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrz9b_SPiUi_cmPJMqdc5H6iorLtT5qkPMbW8yNpvVQpyZSCqMwfZu5KDlevFv0H-4jP6wZhbtGvScwE6OD_BuqhTIzGyyJNOn4EVPzN5aSnYDRQIOO7ztg7bLVQTl1XMh6AOh46XrY2rh/s400/Funny_Play+_Boy_Logo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Funny Play Boy Logo</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-84139314293504685822011-11-06T21:44:00.000-08:002011-12-23T16:09:56.165-08:00funny google logo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjodzdc5gKG1zKpXYDP8fqZmE4GtHJ7ew8wi_jyuFHTTxzqfMUZL3aXc_AEhjHIEoXPMwwiT_8aU8AuJKFaBDrKI9M6F0qNsd80sH-kDD_eYZ-y2ibY0XKuMEl9eZejPmJPyxDDuJWf0Us9/s1600/marie_curie%2527s_144+th_birthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjodzdc5gKG1zKpXYDP8fqZmE4GtHJ7ew8wi_jyuFHTTxzqfMUZL3aXc_AEhjHIEoXPMwwiT_8aU8AuJKFaBDrKI9M6F0qNsd80sH-kDD_eYZ-y2ibY0XKuMEl9eZejPmJPyxDDuJWf0Us9/s400/marie_curie%2527s_144+th_birthday.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">funny google logo 1</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUHzpWxMm4HnKY7-FyYgUS5DdnqPEH2q0SmnWL6Bdc6jKXHXhh2cJkZgg5UmBlzECdlm3IWmXgqkKpg4RYMymnbKPP9_isDqedetElv4GNErOOL7rG3NUsMN0YofXy3jFRC1_oeeuN26mv/s1600/funny-google-logo2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUHzpWxMm4HnKY7-FyYgUS5DdnqPEH2q0SmnWL6Bdc6jKXHXhh2cJkZgg5UmBlzECdlm3IWmXgqkKpg4RYMymnbKPP9_isDqedetElv4GNErOOL7rG3NUsMN0YofXy3jFRC1_oeeuN26mv/s400/funny-google-logo2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">funny google logo 2</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Rrsd9LMHN8/TvUYH2vgq8I/AAAAAAAAA5M/6IFvpa_NgCs/s1600/google+funny+logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Rrsd9LMHN8/TvUYH2vgq8I/AAAAAAAAA5M/6IFvpa_NgCs/s400/google+funny+logo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">funny google logo 3</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-21838325718837592822011-08-11T03:08:00.000-07:002011-08-11T03:08:12.494-07:00PUZZLE GAME<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">SELAMAT,sekarang HP anda sudah di lengkapi dengan puzzle game.<br />
caranya mudah yaitu lempar HP anda ke tembok dengan keras lalu susun kembali<br />
-SELAMAT MENCOBA-</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-46945821396974045842011-08-11T03:04:00.001-07:002011-08-11T03:04:50.695-07:00Dampak Negatif Membaca<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">saat q baca di koran tentang bahaya merokok, q berhenti merokok...<br />
saat q baca di koran tentang bahaya minuman keras.. q berhenti mabuk mabukan...<br />
tapi saat q baca di koran tentang bahaya sex bebas, q langsung berhenti baca koran....</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-33950923367326562122011-08-05T02:38:00.000-07:002011-08-05T02:40:53.386-07:00fantasy football names wallpaper<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDA42erqkx6ZYg_tMpGWDQ07URlu0KL0wJ4q9_4jGhwHmFph_DHqLiYQTRYkR9apo9hGJT5rOfsjTbjHFj8ERbkPQYy96uqmWoeqbKY3wufxmeoxLQFvEqohMMeTHlwZL2qzPig9yq0SAq/s1600/fantasy-football.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDA42erqkx6ZYg_tMpGWDQ07URlu0KL0wJ4q9_4jGhwHmFph_DHqLiYQTRYkR9apo9hGJT5rOfsjTbjHFj8ERbkPQYy96uqmWoeqbKY3wufxmeoxLQFvEqohMMeTHlwZL2qzPig9yq0SAq/s320/fantasy-football.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">from : thesportsabyss.wordpress.com</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdfIKi3RumKX2CRPyO4GBu1l89HuLAcbO1Xq1OZJX3qd-ERfceniIfB57yWOEegMDecL6ErJ_hZM51bVoIUuKoy___8ZcFJkQ2Rgmem6lZ-3EYbWftttiCpl8I5Ybe3hCykdmSQzAbGO-u/s1600/kffl_draft_board_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdfIKi3RumKX2CRPyO4GBu1l89HuLAcbO1Xq1OZJX3qd-ERfceniIfB57yWOEegMDecL6ErJ_hZM51bVoIUuKoy___8ZcFJkQ2Rgmem6lZ-3EYbWftttiCpl8I5Ybe3hCykdmSQzAbGO-u/s320/kffl_draft_board_001.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">from : thesportsabyss.wordpress.com</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn_8R__eocuiXpeOJoJcmHwxsfE7Jf14Ymzgg1Y6oxK24d9Xlywtp0zb6kckC6vO9Bv2Zfd14pU0QzkOs4i_Zvcz9FjKS67S2Cd-mSZ0hEvqoU1Dyh5-hhBdDkupsjPSSZw1rZlNUdwuba/s1600/VickDog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn_8R__eocuiXpeOJoJcmHwxsfE7Jf14Ymzgg1Y6oxK24d9Xlywtp0zb6kckC6vO9Bv2Zfd14pU0QzkOs4i_Zvcz9FjKS67S2Cd-mSZ0hEvqoU1Dyh5-hhBdDkupsjPSSZw1rZlNUdwuba/s1600/VickDog.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">from : bestweekever.tv</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-59463622506083727682011-07-14T23:37:00.001-07:002011-07-14T23:37:25.432-07:00Justin Beiber Attacked With Eggs<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><i>Justin Beiber Attacked With Eggs</i></b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">A pair of lovers playing eggs near luxury housing. Because of the spirit, swing from Selena, the name of the woman, so strongly to eggs of glass houses near there. They are shocked because ancient Chinese flower vase also broke exposed the eggs.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">justin said: "I'm sorry. My wife accidentally, "</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">(justin, the husband, on the old man who sits in the House).</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">the old man said: "thank you. You guys deliver me from the shackles of vas It is. I was the jinn and will pass the three requests for this. For You, your wife, and to my own, "</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">the old man said again: "what is your request?"</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">justin: "I want an account each month one billion dollar,"</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">parents: "abra kadabraaa .... Please Check Your account," said the elderly is it.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">the old man said: "then, are you?" the old man asked at selena.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">selena: "I'm a fancy jewelry," she replied.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">parents: say "abraakadabraa .... Been fulfilled! "said old people (jinn) it again.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">justin and selena: "then, the request of Mr. Jinn what?" selena and justin replace ask the old man?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">the old man replied: "I want to make love with your wife," answered the that old.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">They are surprised. but because Genie's generous giving everything, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">Selena received permission to accompany jinn. </span></span><span lang="en"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 12px;">Fuel Selena serves the needs of</span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">Jinn's. </span><span lang="en">By night, a jinn was allowed Selena home. </span><span lang="en">"Thanks," </span>the elderly.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">parents are asked again: "it is how old are you?" selena and justin replied: "My 25 years of age"</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><i>the old man said: "the age of 25 years still believe in Jinn?"</i></b></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-2661733274788065032011-07-14T05:02:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:09:13.634-07:00paige duke nascar<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">paige duke got a warning from Angels because like speeding.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">Angel: "ye during life in the world why like speeding-speeding?" </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">paige duke: "It has become my profession o Angel!"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">Angel: "How are you getting on with the issue of the Lord?" </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">paige duke: "Though I love to race religion still no. 1!" </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">One time paige duke died due to an accident during the race, motorcycle racing </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">and the angel said: "I've already said if races khan were not good" paige duke's go to heaven and accidentally saw someone drove at high speed.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">page duke Then he asked the Angel, "Angel, why would that person be speeding, while I am not to be?"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><span lang="en">The angels said, "sst ye noisy, that God is trying his new motor!"</span></span>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-45453933369574944032011-06-24T21:07:00.000-07:002011-07-18T23:21:28.047-07:00matisyahu one day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;">Matisyahu's "King Without a Crown" is an awesome reggae jam, but I'm guessing he never could have imagined that he'd be talked about in the same sentence as <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0c2a75;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; cursor: pointer; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial;">LeBron James</span></span> as a result.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #373737; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-shadow: rgb(255, 255, 255) 0px 1px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.5;">Regardless, it appears that the musical wonder isn't the one missing a critical accessory.</div><div style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.5;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.5;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #555555; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13px;">By </span></div><div class="article-author-link" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: inline; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline;">Ethan Norof</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span></span></div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-31694374231216978792011-06-24T20:32:00.003-07:002011-07-18T22:53:03.555-07:00Anthony Weiner Scandal Photo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Political Anthony Weiner<br />
Rep. Anthony Weiner's admission to tweeting lewd pictures of himself has turned him into a late-night laughingstock. Here's a roundup of the best Weiner jokes:<br />
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"It turns out that one of the women Congressman Anthony Weiner was communicating with was a p**n star. When asked how it was possible to get involved with someone in such a sleazy business, the p**n star said, 'I don't know.'" —Conan O'Brien<br />
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"Congressman Weiner is in a lot of trouble since he tweeted those pictures. But good news for him, he just found out he'll be allowed to keep his p**n name ... Anthony Weiner." —Conan O'Brien<br />
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"Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you're going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice." —Jimmy Kimmel<br />
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"51 percent of New York voters think Congressman Weiner should keep his seat in office. The other 49 percent think that he should disinfect it." —Conan O'Brien<br />
<br />
"What?! The congressman had a s*x scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?" —Jon Stewart<br />
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"I don't know if laws were broken or not, but Weiner was sending around pictures of him in his underpants and I thought, Well, now, wait a minute, what is the big deal? Don't men and women in Congress get to mail their packages for free?!" —David Letterman<br />
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"This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their p*****s electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he's in, knock on the door...Now they send it right to your house." —Jay Leno<br />
<br />
"Democrats don't share our values. An elected official is tweeting dirty photos of himself to strange women who he never meets for S*X? Come on! At least Republican Chris Lee was trying to get some action! Republican politicians are man enough to hit that thing. Ensign, Vitter, even when it's a gay scandal! They're not tweeting love letters. They're tearing up an airport bathroom until somebody calls the cops on them!" —Stephen Colbert<br />
<br />
by Daniel Kurtzman</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-23138330522866450362011-06-23T22:26:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:07:13.302-07:00Parallels with Mineral water<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<div lang="en">Parallels between breast milk and mineral water?</div><div lang="en"><br />
</div><div lang="en">The same source, from the mountains</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-83543555243654682142011-06-23T22:22:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:18:15.863-07:00Professor thought to the future<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<div lang="en">Why is a history teacher head bald the back, while the bald head Professor in front?</div><div lang="en"><br />
</div><div lang="en">For history teachers think in the past, being a Professor thought to the future.</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-83631142342465489362011-06-23T20:50:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:20:35.174-07:00Smart man plus smart woman<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Smart man + smart woman = romance<br />
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy<br />
Dumb man + smart woman = affair<br />
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage<br />
Smart boss + smart employee = profit<br />
Smart boss + dumb employee = production<br />
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion<br />
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-61499044687498078262011-06-23T20:41:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:29:15.467-07:00A woman will pay<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.<br />
<br />
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.<br />
<br />
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.<br />
<br />
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-72984213557573762192011-06-23T20:30:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:14:16.131-07:00Brad and The Cakes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Brad was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local snack bar where<br />
<br />
he bought a cake. When Chen had eaten the cake, he found that he was still<br />
<br />
famished, and so he ate a second one.<br />
<br />
Even then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in succession, but he<br />
<br />
hadn't satisfied his hunger. Not until Brad had eaten the seventh cake did he<br />
<br />
feel satisfied.<br />
<br />
Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this before, I<br />
<br />
would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have been enough and<br />
<br />
there would not have been any need to eat those six others.'</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-82533809582449173042011-06-23T19:58:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:05:40.985-07:00After The Honeymoon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
After the Honeymoon<br />
<br />
justin and selena, a young couple, got married and went happily on their<br />
<br />
honeymoon.<br />
<br />
When they got back, Elaine immediately 'phoned her mother and her mother<br />
<br />
obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?'<br />
<br />
'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic...'<br />
<br />
Then Elaine burst out crying. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Rupert<br />
<br />
started using the most ghastly language... saying things I've never heard<br />
<br />
before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and<br />
<br />
take me home.... Please Ma.'<br />
<br />
'Calm down, selena!,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? What<br />
<br />
4-letter words?'<br />
<br />
Still sobbing, selena whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and<br />
<br />
iron.'</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-73117057880841959922011-06-23T19:55:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:21:32.919-07:00shot down<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
Difficult Landing<br />
<br />
The airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a - 'Thanks for flying abcde airline'.<br />
<br />
An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything.<br />
<br />
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?' Why no Ma'am,' said the pilot, 'What is it', the little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-83698741874543782282011-06-23T19:38:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:11:33.808-07:00ATM machines<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:<br />
<br />
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling<br />
<br />
customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this<br />
<br />
new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing<br />
<br />
their accounts.<br />
<br />
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been<br />
<br />
developed.<br />
<br />
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:<br />
<br />
MALE PROCEDURE<br />
<br />
1. Drive up to the cash machine.<br />
2. Put down your car window.<br />
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.<br />
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.<br />
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.<br />
6. Put window up.<br />
7. Drive off.<br />
<br />
FEMALE PROCEDURE<br />
<br />
1. Drive up to cash machine.<br />
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.<br />
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.<br />
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.<br />
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.<br />
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.<br />
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance<br />
<br />
from the car.<br />
8. Insert card.<br />
9. Re-insert card the right way.<br />
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back<br />
<br />
page.<br />
11. Enter PIN.<br />
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.<br />
13. Enter amount of cash required.<br />
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.<br />
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.<br />
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.<br />
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.<br />
18. Re-check makeup.<br />
19. Drive forward 2 feet.<br />
20. Reverse back to cash machine.<br />
21. Retrieve card.<br />
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot<br />
<br />
provided.!<br />
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.<br />
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.<br />
25. Redial person on cell phone.<br />
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.<br />
27. Release Parking Brake.<br />
<div><br />
</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-5894182875039466922011-06-23T19:16:00.000-07:002011-07-18T03:22:08.263-07:00Well, today I didn't do it !!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His<br />
<br />
three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with<br />
<br />
empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.<br />
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.<br />
<br />
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.<br />
<br />
A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In<br />
<br />
the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room<br />
<br />
was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.<br />
<br />
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the<br />
<br />
counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table,<br />
<br />
and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.<br />
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes,<br />
<br />
looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious<br />
<br />
had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in bed in her<br />
<br />
pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day<br />
<br />
went.<br />
<br />
He looked at her bewildered and asked,<br />
"What happened here today?"<br />
She again smiled and answered,<br />
"You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world<br />
<br />
did I do today?"<br />
<br />
"Yes" was his incredulous reply.<br />
<br />
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!!!"</div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-75244623908767674752011-06-21T18:43:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:15:45.926-07:00monkeys categories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;">There are 3 categories of monkeys</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><br />
<div lang="en">1. Monkey Conforming: who would read this sms ...!!!</div><div lang="en">2. Monkey Spiteful: will this sms balez ...!!!</div><div lang="en">3. Monkey Stingy: who would not reply to this sms ...!!!</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-6293955387563437382011-06-21T18:37:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:10:15.447-07:00Personal Driver<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<div lang="en"><span lang="en">I will always be there for you, is always present when you need. </span><span lang="en">Wherever you go wherever you were I always loyal be. </span><span lang="en">Because I am the personal DRIVER</span></div><div><span lang="en"><br />
</span></div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-14146281541706043392011-06-21T18:35:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:22:48.751-07:00Prayer Of An Angler<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;">Lord, give me a chance to get such a large fish,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><br />
<div lang="en">so in telling stories to his friends, I'm not frustrated and no longer need to trick them</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-59247019244153871122011-06-21T18:33:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:12:41.435-07:00Formula Of Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;">Formula of love:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<div lang="en">Hate x hate = love</div><div lang="en">Love + love = love</div><div lang="en">Faded love-love =</div><div lang="en">Love: 2 = affair</div><div lang="en">2 x = caught having an affair</div><div lang="en">Caught 2 x = disconnect</div><div><br />
</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-62062856249443174152011-06-21T18:32:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:23:35.652-07:00great Guy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<div lang="en"><br />
</div><div><span lang="en">A regular guy, looking for a girl is well. </span><span lang="en">Great guy, looking for girls to be repaired</span></div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003152470594902217.post-9166397231050676662011-06-21T18:24:00.001-07:002011-07-18T03:24:31.487-07:00just For You<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;">+ All my heart just for you ...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<div><span lang="en">-Basic liar!!! </span><span lang="en">the proof you are the same I'm stingy once</span></div><div lang="en">+ I said our whole heart, not all earnings</div></div>MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733729914542566827noreply@blogger.com